Messy, Chaotic, Adventure....life with boys

It's been a bit quiet here on my new blog. Mostly because I feel that the Lord has been calling me to only post when I feel led, and to only post when it comes from the overflow of what I have to give to others after making sure that I am fulfilled in my walk with Him. Also, because this last pregnancy has been a tough one and I've been exhausted and busy with the other 3 boys and getting ready for the newest little blessings arrival. Well, as we have done with all the boys, we decided to have some maternity pics taken. I had seen this idea floating around Facebook and I thought "hmm...that could be really fun", it took a minute to convince my husband to agree, but being the amazing man that he is, he said Yes and asking our photographer was a no-brainer for her as she's up for an adventure and a creative photo shoot that goes against the norm (she does Fearless Family sessions). I'm so excited to share with you these photos.

We decided to not tell the boys what we were doing so it would be a surprise. Not only did we have a blast with our mud fight, but the Lord spoke to me in those moments and showed me just how much these picture perfectly portrayed what he's been teaching me about what it means to be a mom to all boys, a mom he has called to raise up warriors for Him. So here's a bit of what I learned....



Raising boys is Messy. My boys leave fingerprints, dirt, crumbs, and footprints in their trails as they whip through the house. They love to make a mess (and for the most part, I encourage it as long as it gets picked up by bedtime). They love to play in the dirt, mud, sand, grass, catch bugs and frogs, and also love to create with different art projects. Our house is messy as we play and learn and live in our home. It's taken me a while to get to the point where I was ok in not having my home look "good to me" standards when people come over. My home is lived in, it's lived in by boys, and I'd rather have my time spent on them than worry about the dust and dirt. Not that I don't love a good cleaning, because I do, but the pressure I put on myself to have my home look just-so was exhausting and I'm thankful that the Lord has taught me to let the mess go and just enjoy it. I've also been an emotional mess at times on this motherhood journey. Wondering if I'm a good enough mom for these boys, questioning if I can give enough attention to each son individually, wondering if I've got this parenting thing down right...and God has so much to teach me in how to raise these boys, but I know that He's right alongside me guiding my every step and word as I take on this journey He has laid before me. And I am thankful that God is there with me, even in the messy times.

Raising boys is Chaotic. There are times that my home is complete chaos. The noise level, the activity they are doing (like jumping off the coffee table pretending to fly like birds), and the disarray of my home...but the chaos is fun. "Controlled Chaos" is what I like to call it. We can have fun and be silly but within certain boundaries that we have set in our home and when out in public. I love the chaos that is my life right now. I'm sure it must look overwhelming to people when I go out to the grocery store with my crew of 3 (now 4) boys. I see the stares, hear the comments made in whispers or even to me like "wow, you've got your hands full", or "all boys, bless your heart", and many more (maybe another blogpost on that another day)...but I love my chaotic life. Sure, it's overwhelming at times, but I have a confidence in myself as a mom that the Lord has given me to handle it. It's not always easy, in fact, it's hard at times (ok, lots of the time) and it's chaotic, but its fun.

Raising boys is an Adventure. When we found out we were having our 4th boy, God said to me "Kelly, get ready, this is going to be an incredible adventure". And what an adventure it has been since having our first son in 2010. I'm pretty sure we have about 20 different adventures we take everyday. We might be going to the moon, having an animal park, pretending we are knights in a castle, just the other day we had King and his helper with a sword who would protect him. Whether the adventures are imaginary or the adventures we take as a family on a trip, or daily to different errands, we are loving every minute (mostly, lol). I can't wait to see how the adventure continues as these boys grow up into young men.

Raising boys has called me to cling closer to the Lord than I ever have before. Honestly, I have no clue how I'm going to raise these boys to become warriors for His Kingdom, but I do know that I can do it when my complete trust is in Him, the One who gave me this amazing gift of my 4 sons and my wonderful husband to go on this adventure with. We had so much fun doing this photo shoot. I loved the surprised look on the boys faces when we started throwing mud around...I loved just playing and having fun with them. These pictures certainly tell a story of our family, our joy we have in this journey the Lord has taken us on. The love I have for my amazing One that he has blessed me with, and the messy, chaotic, adventure we are on.

Happy to announce that our 4th beautiful boy was born 10 days after this photo shoot

Vision for my Boys

There are a few blogs/sites I follow regularly. Most of them having to do with women who are Moms of Boys. They are a great encouragement to me, and support as I have personally reached out to a few of them and they have replied back. Yesterday I was reading a post from Wendy Speake (check out her website), she was talking about casting vision for our families, for our boys specifically (side note, Wendy wrote THIS amazing book with another amazing mom of boys, Amber Lia, that I follow here). Something triggered inside me and I felt compelled to do this exact thing that evening. My husband was off to his men's group that night and I knew after bedtime I'd have time. So after I got everyone in to bed (which went quite smoothly last night, thank you Jesus), I sat down and began to write. I used a bit of the template she gave to get started for my boys, but honestly, the words just flowed. As I prayed about what I felt each son needed to hear, I just wrote. I kept it simple, to one or two things, told them how lucky I was to be their mommy and how proud of them I was and wrapped it up with "I love you, Mom". I also wrote one for my husband, which he enjoyed reading later that evening when he got home. I struggle sometimes to publicly tell my boys all the wonderful qualities I see in them, sometimes the days just blur together and in this current season of crazy, I'm sure my words aren't always as uplifting as they need to be. So this was a good challenge for me. 

When the boys woke up in the morning, my oldest son (who is 6.5) saw his Dad's note sitting on the coffee table, he asked me what it was and said that he was able to read the whole thing (yay for his reading!). I told him it was a special note for Daddy and that I had actually written one for him and his brothers. His precious face lit up and he said "where are they?" with excitement. They were on the counter at their breakfast spot. He rushed over and began to read his, then he offered to read the others to each of their letters. It was so precious to watch.

So if you have time, here are a few tidbits from Wendy's post. I can't share it all yet because some of it is from a new book that she and Amber are working on (yay! I'm excited). And if you feel led, try it out for yourself and your family. You wont regret it. It brought me so much joy. I plan on trying to do one each month if not every other week for the boys.

Post from Wendy:

So I was wondering this afternoon, sweet mama-friends, if I can tell you what is true about you. Would you let me paint a picture of who I believe you are?

"You are a loving mom. You are an ever-sacrificing, sweet-encouraging, long-suffering mom. And you are the perfect mom your kids need. You listen patiently, and help everyone tirelessly, and switch out another load of laundry with a cheerful heart. And tomorrow, you'll do it all again... because this is who you are."

(I don't know about you all, but I needed to hear that today, I may even need to tape this to my refrigerator or write it on my arm in sharpie as a constant reminder!)

Alright, now it's your turn. Take a moment and write out a script for you to speak over your children (or maybe just one of them if you prefer.)

Son, you are... You are... You are...

Sweetheart, you are.... you are...

Boys, you guys are... children, you are...

This is who you are...

Tell them who they are, regardless of how they behave, and watch how the behavior transforms to line up with what you've said is true!

There is power in the tongue!

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21, NIV)

I believe that our children, and our husbands, and our own selves too, will bear good fruit when we speak good words over one another.

I can't wait to hear what vision-casting, life-giving words you want to speak to your children today.

Go!"

Okay - you're turn - GO!

REST

I had a tough day yesterday. Not sure why. Do you ever have those days where everything that you've either been dealing with or struggling with just comes to the surface and by the end of the day you are just DONE? That was me yesterday. 

My oldest got to stay home yesterday due the power being out at his school after a large wind storm (he's home again today because the power is still not back). We took a spur of the moment trip up to visit with my mom so I could get the boys out of the house and a little chance of scenery. We had a great time. My dad even came home from work early to play with the boys which was wonderful. They LOVE playing with their grandparents and I think my parents enjoy it just as much (if not more) than my boys. 

Headed back in the afternoon so my youngest could take a little rest on the way home (an hour drive) and I was listening to worship songs (as I often do). This particular song spoke to me yesterday. It's like God just wanted me to remember that he's right there in the midst of what I feel like my mess is. All he wants to do is for me to call on Him, snuggle up in His lap, let Him hold me, and just REST.

Cecei's Lullaby: Steffany Gretzinger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSDkn9PtQm0

Call my name
And I will answer 
All you need
It's here inside my arms
Just breathe
And you'll be safe and sound with me

No one knows you better than me
No one's been a better friend

So rock-a-bye baby
Come and rest
You've been tired lately
Lay your head down
Don't you think, baby
I know best
I've been a father
For a long time

No one knows you better than me
No one's been a better friend 

This pregnancy has been tough. Physically tough. There's really no other way to explain it. I have had bad sciatica issues with the last 3 pregnancies (although it actually started after my first was born), with each pregnancy it seems to start way earlier...so for baby #4, it was probably around month 4 that it started to creep in. It's a constant struggle each day to figure out how much is too much to do before I'm not able to walk (and I still have at least 8 weeks to go). I've figured out that I have about 30 min of general "to do" tasks and then I need to stop or else I wont be able to do much the rest of the day (to do tasks include simple clean up around the house, not any deep cleaning....doing 3 loads of laundry takes me out). Today was no exception. The boys and I had run to the store this morning for a few essentials (like fruit, bread, and of course Cadbury eggs for mama). We got home and I had rented a movie for them to watch for the 2nd "no power at school" day home. I decided that the bathrooms needed to be cleaned (hello, a boy bathroom needs at least 2 cleanings a week...plus we have a potty training boy toddler added to the mix this week!) AHHH! So I cleaned the boys bathroom and went to move on to the master bathroom. Got about 1/2 way done and my sciatica acted up so badly that I had to stop. I had to stop. That's not something I'm used to doing. The fact that I actually stopped and knew that I couldn't do more was a huge success for me (ask my husband and my good friends). I'm a doer, I like to get things accomplished, I enjoy taking care of my home, I enjoy cleaning, and to not be able to because I physically can't is tough. It was so bad that I had to get out my new special preggo pillow and lay down in it (one of the only ways I can get some relief to make it through the rest of the day). Bless my boys' hearts. They were still watching their movie, my youngest gave my hip kisses and covered me with a blanket and says "don't worry mommy, I wont jump on you" (my boys like to rough house with each other), my oldest came and sat next to me and just wanted to snuggle in to make sure I was ok (he's my sensitive one, love that about him).

My oldest thinks he's pretty funny. Check out my cool blanket from my youngest and the mess that's going to continue getting messier on my kitchen counters (pic courtesy of my oldest).

 

As I was laying down in my pillow I just felt this song pressing on my heart again and Father reminding me that it's okay to REST. It's okay to not do anymore today. All I need to do is release it to Him and let Him hold me and take care of me the rest of the day. Sigh....how awesome is that? How amazing is it that we have a Dad who loves us so much and all he desires is for us to lay our struggles, worries, burdens, triumphs, joys, pains, and all those feeling at His feet and let him hold us in whatever mess we are in. I've felt a lot of different emotions the past two weeks. Just keeping it real. With the pregnancy taking it's toll on me, plus the loss of a good friend unexpectedly to cancer (who was also a wonderful mama to 3 babies under the age of 4), plus the joys that come with motherhood and the amount of love I have for my kids that I just sometimes cannot fathom how it's possible to love them as much as I do, plus the overwhelming love I have for my rock star husband who has done so much for me these past few months when I haven't been able to do as much as I typically do, plus feeling anxious and scared at a new calling I feel like the Lord is directing me in (ahem...I am actually writing my feelings down in a public forum), guilty feelings for not being able to do as much as I typically do, and lots more, but at least it gives you an idea. And isn't it so comforting that Father just tells us to come and rest and let him hold us in those moments and that He's got us.

I don't know about you, but my plan for the remainder of the day is the REST. For me that might be more of a physical rest, but I know it will also be an emotional rest in Him as I give him the raw emotions on my heart and let him speak to me as I find my REST in Him. What will you today to find your rest?